The Truth is the Truth is the Truth

Disapointingly, my third week weigh-in was a real let down. I have lost .5kgs. Considering I lost 4 in just the first week, it makes me sit back and ponder what I did wrong. There is nothing I can't stand more than people who are big, who say they 'eat hardly anything at all' and that they 'don't deserve to be this weight because of what they eat'. To me this is all denial. I believe many big people,(other than those with medical conditions) eat too much, but much of the food is consumed unconsciously. That is certainly my problem. So, day by day from last week, I am going to look back on the week, and assess why I have had such a small loss. What did I do wrong, and what can I do this week to stop it happeneing again. There certainly is an advantage to keeping a food diary!

Ok.

Monday - exellent walking, walked extra, worked up a sweat, all good excercise wise. Half an enchalada for lunch with salad (oohhh not the perfect diet food!!, wonton soup for afternoon tea (this also isn't fab), a milky bar egg (a mini white chocolate egg), still not good, and a large lamb chop for dinner. This is Monday and clearly not a particularly clean eating day. The lamb could have been chicken breast or stir fry.... and less of it, no chocolate egg, and a peiece of fruit or cruskits for afternoon tea.

Tuesday - Walking was excellent, so no worries there. Morning was good food wise, however chicken delux from Maccas in the arvo (I seriously have this once or twice a year, wasn't going to miss out!!), so Tuesday wasn't too flash eating wise either.

Wednesday - 15 mins salsasize (youngest daughter had to be picked up early from daycare), not as good as walking. I flipped and had a slice of chocolate cake after lunch and had a chocolate drink after dinner...... not excellent.

Thursday - Walking was brilliant. Tuna and steamed vege for lunch, brilliant. Though after lunch, babybel cheese, 6 king prawns with lemon, WW dessert, 2 peices of crumbed fish and salad at dinner (should have been steamed or grilled plain fish).

Friday - No walking today, my day off. Meatpie at morning tea (Boss's shout couldn't say no), Carrot cake in arvo, bottle of wine (free day,) fish and chips for dinner sticky date pudding after dinner.

Saturday - Good walking day. Roast pork and veges for tea, not ideal. Chocolate drink after dinner AGAIN....

Sunday - Bacon and egg burger for lunch on a WHITE ROLL, dried fruit, nuts, more bacon, BBQ chips, beer, chocolate drink after dinner.

Considering I actually lost .5 of a kilo over the week looks like a good result regarding what I ate. I have to own this, and realize that I am once again trying to sabotage myself.

I also gained 2cms.

Week 1 - 91kgs Week 2 - 88kgs Week 3 - 87.5kgs

Disapointed and Disillusioned.

Sorry it's been so long since I last posted. It's just been so unbelieveably busy, and I had an assignment due this weekend, not much time for posting.
My weight has come to a bit of a stand-still. I have been 87kilos since midweek, and over the weekend I've had a few binges which isn't good. Today I was so hungry, I had bacon, BBQ chips, nuts, dried fruit and had a bacon and egg burger for lunch. The other really bad thing I have been eating is those weight watchers puddings. They aren't good for the figure, regardless if they're weight watchers or not, they are not designed to be eaten all the time, just as an occasional sweet. The other thing is after tea I am often having a hot chocolate drink. It's fat free, and I have it with the no fat milk, but I am having sugar in it, and it wouldn't be sugar free! My lowest weight this week has been 87kgs. The good thing is that I had a tiffany salad on Friday instead of wedges, and a zero coke instead of a fullfat full sugar. On Friday, I did have carrot cake though, and binged a little then too.
On a good note, I have walked every day I should have, and the day my littlest was sick and I had to pick her up early from daycare, I did a dance DVD for 20 minutes which made me sweat and was good anyway.
I have also been good with my water, drinking pretty much all morning at work, and not too bad when I am home. I also only have 1 bottle of wine on Friday afternoon, instead of 2 like I had last weekend, so on another positive, my drinking is also under control.
I have to remember all the things I have been told over the years as I am losing weight. It takes time, it isn't going to happen overnight. It's OK to have bad days, as long as you get back on the wagon the next day. It's not 'all ruined' if you binge, these things happen! I am walking, I have pulled up drinking, and I am not eating until I am bloated and full anymore! These are all remarkable steps in the right direction, I just have to be patient.

Constancy

I was a little disappointed today that I am still sitting on 87.5kgs. Blah. I thought I would be down at least another kilo since Monday. Today is Wednesday of week 2, and I am still the lowest weight I was last week? I guess the massive loss on the first week has to count for something. I have been having a few 'little treats' here and there too. For example, I have eaten a couple of white chocolate Easter eggs... just the mini ones, but nonetheless, still sugary fatty chocolate. Yesterday I did also have a pretty fatty lunch, 2 lamb chops and veges, and the lamb chops were pretty fatty and I really should have eaten just one. I've also been having a banana in my shake instead of berries for a change.

I also have to realize, that with the massive loss I have had, I have to slow down somewhere. I can't lose 4.5kilos weekly, it just ain't going to happen. I also have to keep in mind, that I need to keep going and keep consistent. I am feeling so much better within myself, obviously the exercise and clean eating and multivitamins is doing me the world of good.

I wonder if it's worth carrying something in my hands, like weights or cans or something so I can pump my arms more??

I'll let you know my weight tomorrow.....

Lowest Weight this week, 87.5kgs.

Yesterday morning, I was absolutely thrilled to see I had lost 4.5kgs for the first 5 days work. That's a massive loss. I have eaten cleanly up until Friday, which I have made my 'free' day. On this day, I can have my 'free meal' whereby I can eat whatever I like. I can drink alchohol.(yesterday I had a bottle of wine) and it is a no excercise day!

Let's just see what next week brings....

Day 2 - 89kgs

Not much time to blog this morning, I am time poor as usual. Yesterday I had a great day. Ate very cleanly, though was starving most of the day. I did my cardio as planned, however the girls rode very slowly on their bikes, which led to half of the trip going very slowly. I have decided that the littlest one can stay in daycare an hour longer 3 days a week so I can really pace it out. I am thrilled with my loss so far. I have lost an entire kilo! I am well aware that this is fluid, however a loss is a loss right?? Have heaps to talk about, so I will blog more very soon!!

Day 1 - I'm SO ready for this

How good is it that I start at the perfect figure of 90kgs? Awesome. Though losing 20kgs would be significantly life changing for me, 35 would be better. Losing 35kgs would make me my ideal weight for my height 55kgs. However, when I was 65kgs I was a nice size 12 (thought I was huge back then). For right now though, I would like to get back to my original starting weight of 84kgs. This is the weight I have maintained for years. Once I hit that goal, I will start working hard to get back into the 70s.

I will post again tonight to let you know how I went with food and my walk around the lagoon. To be honest I think it will be a tough day, but after binging yesterday I ended up with diarrhoea and a tummy ache, and I still overate after that! Today, I think it will be nice for my body just to ingest a small amount of food!

Each day, I would like to include 5 reasons WHY I NEED and WANT to lose this weight.

1. So I can tie my shoelaces for work without nearly passing out.
2. So my work uniform will fit me nicely without popping off buttons.
3. So people stop asking me when the baby is due.
4. So my internal organs can work more easily.
5. So I can have more self esteem and feel internally better about myself.

Have a great day everyone!

In preparation for Tomorrow

Well, I have done the big weigh in this afternoon, after a full days eating and wine. I have had a few thoughts. Firstly, I have decided I am going to post every day to update on how I am going on a day to day basis. I think the accountability of having to check in here will be really helpful. I am so strapped for time at the moment, I barely get a minute alone, however I will MAKE time to save my own life and self esteem. This will allow me to scroll back to see how far I have come! I have also decided that the couple of teaspoons of sugar I have in my 2 coffees per day are not going to make a huge difference. I am going to just try and cut down a little. I really don't like artificial sweetners.
My first day weigh in and measurments are as follows

Weight: 90kgs
BMI: OBESE
Chest: 107cms
Arms: 34cms
Waist: 114cms
Hips: 116cms
Thighs: 62cms

Tomorrow is my big day. I have not tried the meal replacement shake I am going to drink for brekky, or the 'magic powder' I am going to take twice a day. Should be interesting!!