The Truth is the Truth is the Truth

Disapointingly, my third week weigh-in was a real let down. I have lost .5kgs. Considering I lost 4 in just the first week, it makes me sit back and ponder what I did wrong. There is nothing I can't stand more than people who are big, who say they 'eat hardly anything at all' and that they 'don't deserve to be this weight because of what they eat'. To me this is all denial. I believe many big people,(other than those with medical conditions) eat too much, but much of the food is consumed unconsciously. That is certainly my problem. So, day by day from last week, I am going to look back on the week, and assess why I have had such a small loss. What did I do wrong, and what can I do this week to stop it happeneing again. There certainly is an advantage to keeping a food diary!

Ok.

Monday - exellent walking, walked extra, worked up a sweat, all good excercise wise. Half an enchalada for lunch with salad (oohhh not the perfect diet food!!, wonton soup for afternoon tea (this also isn't fab), a milky bar egg (a mini white chocolate egg), still not good, and a large lamb chop for dinner. This is Monday and clearly not a particularly clean eating day. The lamb could have been chicken breast or stir fry.... and less of it, no chocolate egg, and a peiece of fruit or cruskits for afternoon tea.

Tuesday - Walking was excellent, so no worries there. Morning was good food wise, however chicken delux from Maccas in the arvo (I seriously have this once or twice a year, wasn't going to miss out!!), so Tuesday wasn't too flash eating wise either.

Wednesday - 15 mins salsasize (youngest daughter had to be picked up early from daycare), not as good as walking. I flipped and had a slice of chocolate cake after lunch and had a chocolate drink after dinner...... not excellent.

Thursday - Walking was brilliant. Tuna and steamed vege for lunch, brilliant. Though after lunch, babybel cheese, 6 king prawns with lemon, WW dessert, 2 peices of crumbed fish and salad at dinner (should have been steamed or grilled plain fish).

Friday - No walking today, my day off. Meatpie at morning tea (Boss's shout couldn't say no), Carrot cake in arvo, bottle of wine (free day,) fish and chips for dinner sticky date pudding after dinner.

Saturday - Good walking day. Roast pork and veges for tea, not ideal. Chocolate drink after dinner AGAIN....

Sunday - Bacon and egg burger for lunch on a WHITE ROLL, dried fruit, nuts, more bacon, BBQ chips, beer, chocolate drink after dinner.

Considering I actually lost .5 of a kilo over the week looks like a good result regarding what I ate. I have to own this, and realize that I am once again trying to sabotage myself.

I also gained 2cms.

Week 1 - 91kgs Week 2 - 88kgs Week 3 - 87.5kgs

Disapointed and Disillusioned.

Sorry it's been so long since I last posted. It's just been so unbelieveably busy, and I had an assignment due this weekend, not much time for posting.
My weight has come to a bit of a stand-still. I have been 87kilos since midweek, and over the weekend I've had a few binges which isn't good. Today I was so hungry, I had bacon, BBQ chips, nuts, dried fruit and had a bacon and egg burger for lunch. The other really bad thing I have been eating is those weight watchers puddings. They aren't good for the figure, regardless if they're weight watchers or not, they are not designed to be eaten all the time, just as an occasional sweet. The other thing is after tea I am often having a hot chocolate drink. It's fat free, and I have it with the no fat milk, but I am having sugar in it, and it wouldn't be sugar free! My lowest weight this week has been 87kgs. The good thing is that I had a tiffany salad on Friday instead of wedges, and a zero coke instead of a fullfat full sugar. On Friday, I did have carrot cake though, and binged a little then too.
On a good note, I have walked every day I should have, and the day my littlest was sick and I had to pick her up early from daycare, I did a dance DVD for 20 minutes which made me sweat and was good anyway.
I have also been good with my water, drinking pretty much all morning at work, and not too bad when I am home. I also only have 1 bottle of wine on Friday afternoon, instead of 2 like I had last weekend, so on another positive, my drinking is also under control.
I have to remember all the things I have been told over the years as I am losing weight. It takes time, it isn't going to happen overnight. It's OK to have bad days, as long as you get back on the wagon the next day. It's not 'all ruined' if you binge, these things happen! I am walking, I have pulled up drinking, and I am not eating until I am bloated and full anymore! These are all remarkable steps in the right direction, I just have to be patient.

Constancy

I was a little disappointed today that I am still sitting on 87.5kgs. Blah. I thought I would be down at least another kilo since Monday. Today is Wednesday of week 2, and I am still the lowest weight I was last week? I guess the massive loss on the first week has to count for something. I have been having a few 'little treats' here and there too. For example, I have eaten a couple of white chocolate Easter eggs... just the mini ones, but nonetheless, still sugary fatty chocolate. Yesterday I did also have a pretty fatty lunch, 2 lamb chops and veges, and the lamb chops were pretty fatty and I really should have eaten just one. I've also been having a banana in my shake instead of berries for a change.

I also have to realize, that with the massive loss I have had, I have to slow down somewhere. I can't lose 4.5kilos weekly, it just ain't going to happen. I also have to keep in mind, that I need to keep going and keep consistent. I am feeling so much better within myself, obviously the exercise and clean eating and multivitamins is doing me the world of good.

I wonder if it's worth carrying something in my hands, like weights or cans or something so I can pump my arms more??

I'll let you know my weight tomorrow.....

Lowest Weight this week, 87.5kgs.

Yesterday morning, I was absolutely thrilled to see I had lost 4.5kgs for the first 5 days work. That's a massive loss. I have eaten cleanly up until Friday, which I have made my 'free' day. On this day, I can have my 'free meal' whereby I can eat whatever I like. I can drink alchohol.(yesterday I had a bottle of wine) and it is a no excercise day!

Let's just see what next week brings....

Day 2 - 89kgs

Not much time to blog this morning, I am time poor as usual. Yesterday I had a great day. Ate very cleanly, though was starving most of the day. I did my cardio as planned, however the girls rode very slowly on their bikes, which led to half of the trip going very slowly. I have decided that the littlest one can stay in daycare an hour longer 3 days a week so I can really pace it out. I am thrilled with my loss so far. I have lost an entire kilo! I am well aware that this is fluid, however a loss is a loss right?? Have heaps to talk about, so I will blog more very soon!!

Day 1 - I'm SO ready for this

How good is it that I start at the perfect figure of 90kgs? Awesome. Though losing 20kgs would be significantly life changing for me, 35 would be better. Losing 35kgs would make me my ideal weight for my height 55kgs. However, when I was 65kgs I was a nice size 12 (thought I was huge back then). For right now though, I would like to get back to my original starting weight of 84kgs. This is the weight I have maintained for years. Once I hit that goal, I will start working hard to get back into the 70s.

I will post again tonight to let you know how I went with food and my walk around the lagoon. To be honest I think it will be a tough day, but after binging yesterday I ended up with diarrhoea and a tummy ache, and I still overate after that! Today, I think it will be nice for my body just to ingest a small amount of food!

Each day, I would like to include 5 reasons WHY I NEED and WANT to lose this weight.

1. So I can tie my shoelaces for work without nearly passing out.
2. So my work uniform will fit me nicely without popping off buttons.
3. So people stop asking me when the baby is due.
4. So my internal organs can work more easily.
5. So I can have more self esteem and feel internally better about myself.

Have a great day everyone!

In preparation for Tomorrow

Well, I have done the big weigh in this afternoon, after a full days eating and wine. I have had a few thoughts. Firstly, I have decided I am going to post every day to update on how I am going on a day to day basis. I think the accountability of having to check in here will be really helpful. I am so strapped for time at the moment, I barely get a minute alone, however I will MAKE time to save my own life and self esteem. This will allow me to scroll back to see how far I have come! I have also decided that the couple of teaspoons of sugar I have in my 2 coffees per day are not going to make a huge difference. I am going to just try and cut down a little. I really don't like artificial sweetners.
My first day weigh in and measurments are as follows

Weight: 90kgs
BMI: OBESE
Chest: 107cms
Arms: 34cms
Waist: 114cms
Hips: 116cms
Thighs: 62cms

Tomorrow is my big day. I have not tried the meal replacement shake I am going to drink for brekky, or the 'magic powder' I am going to take twice a day. Should be interesting!!

Putting a stop to the abuse. I'm finally ready...

Without further ado, I am finally ready, at 33 years old, to do something about my ever increasing weight. My highest has been 84kgs for some years. I am now 90kgs, and have been for many months. If I don't do something now, I am going to get increasingly bigger until I die. I am a food addict, and my self loathing and self abuse has been slowly but consistently allowing me to put on the kilos until I have reached crisis point.

After much thought and decision, on Monday I will begin transforming my poor, abused body into a nurtured, loved one. I have the help of a new 'magic powder' just newly released on the Australian market which should really help.

These are the guidelines which I will be following from Monday 16th March 2009.

1. Fridays will be my 'free day'. On this day I can have 1 free meal, and no excercise.


2. I will be drinking 2+ litres of water a day to flush out toxins.


3. For the first 2 weeks I will be doing 1 lap around the town lagoon (about 30 minutes brisk walking) for cardio. I will increase this to 2 laps in a fortnights time.


4. Sunday night I will be recording my weight and my measurments for a starting point.


5. I will be taking the 'magic powder' twice a day 20 minutes before meals.


6. I will be taking multivitamins 3 times a day OMEGA EFA with vitamin E 3 times a day.


7. My afternoon binging will no longer happen as in this time from now on I will be walking and too busy.


8. I will only have 2 snacks a day morning tea and afternoon tea.


9. I will only be having 2 cups of coffee a day, 1 in the morning and 1 at morning tea. These will be taken with skim milk and artificial sweetner.


10. Breakfast for the next month will be a meal replacement shake with NO FAT milk and fruit.


11. I will NOT be eating later than 8pm on ANY NIGHT.


12. I will limit myself to just ONE BOTTLE of wine a WEEK. On my Free day. I will review this in a month and see if I can cut down to one bottle a fortnight.


13. In 4 weeks I will review this routine, and with that information I may increase my excercise and cut down my alcohol even further. Weights will also be added later in the peace, right now I just need to focus on getting into a cardio routine.

WISH ME LUCK!! I will post my first measurements and weight Sunday night.

Fat Experts

I am 157cms tall and I weigh in at 90kgs. I am about a size 20. My obesity is not due to living on litres of coca cola and eating mountains of white bread smothered with margerine. I am a successful, well educated woman who knows about as much as a body builder about nutrition, health and diet.
I have been on the southbeach diet, atkins diet, cabbage soup diet, herbalife, bodytrim, betalife, not to mention trying to get thin on my own regimes. I believe all proper high protein, high nutrition diets with balanced meals and exercise will work. But, I believe many overweight people don't stick to them long enough to see any noticeable difference. It's back to saying "Stuff it" and eating whatever we like, until next Monday when we vow we will do something about it.

My biggest issue in life right now, is that I am heavier than I have ever been, and my body is probably at it's most unhealthy. Currently my weakness is alcohol. I drink nearly every night, and drink a fair amount. Mostly red wine and west coast coolers. My drinking over the past 6 months or so, has caused me to gain the last 5kgs, making me bigger than ever. My other issue is that I am a marvelous cook, and I often find that after I finish my own evening meal, I find myself happily cleaning up my children's leftovers. I eat loads of chicken breast, cottage cheese, hearty stews, salads, raw foods, nuts and seeds. I love to eat legumes, fresh organic produce and fresh fruit. My problem is I eat far, far too much food, and I eat it at the wrong times.

What really irritates me is people who believe that not only do they think they have the right to tell you how fat you are, but are more than happy to give you their considered, varied knowledge on the subject.
I went into a shop recently and was trying on belts. The shop assistant pointed out that under my bust (where I was trying on the belt) was clearly the only place that the belt would fit, considering I had 'no more room' with my fat belly. When I clearly pointed out that I was NOT in fact pregnant, she nonchalantly went on to say even though she was overweight, she had an excuse as she was getting older. I walked out in tears.
Friends, family, acquaintances and complete strangers all love to give me advice about what I should do to lose weight. Drink water, exercises, do weights, eat more fruits and veges, halve my portions. The list goes on.
It's ironic that these people, with not so perfect figures themselves, believe that not only are they weight loss experts, but they also have the authority to give out free advice on your weight issues.

Why does being fat give people the right to judge? I don't judge intellectually challenged people, or people who have a different religion, or lifestyle to mine. I don't judge or criticize the way they look or dress, why can't they give me the same respect? I know I'm overweight, I'm not blind.

Why is it so difficult for people without weight issues, to understand that being overweight is not all about binging on lollies and having no brains? We have more overweight people in Australia than ever before, when are people going to realize that it's not all about what we put in our mouths?